you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
