Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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