yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
