Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's always time for handjobs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
