I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
