We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
