DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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