I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
