Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How does one acquire holy water?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
