It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
