sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
