I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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