So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
