first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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