we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
