dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
