Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
