They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
