id be glad to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
