Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
