We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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