We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
