I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
