This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
