sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
