Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
