I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
