At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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