I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
