I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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