i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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