My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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