your parents love me but you hate me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
