I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
