"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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