Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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