he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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