I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
