Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I need water and some morals
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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