Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
