I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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