I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
