yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize