Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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