toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
