Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
