Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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