so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
