he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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