absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
