please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
