listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
