My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
